1001 One-Liners: Jokes and zingers for every occasion and on every subject – puns, dad jokes and witty asides for weddings, speeches and presentations

Short, quick-fire jokes havebeen popular for centuries. Indeed the world's oldest surviving joke book, thePhilogelos, which was written in Ancient Greek, contains this classic doctorjoke: Patient: "Doctor! When I wake up I'm all dizzy. Then after half an hour Ifeel fine." Doctor: "Well, wait half an hour before waking up."

Meanwhile in Rome, they had a gag for every occasion, fromsenate orations and lavish feasts to throwing Christians to the lions. A Cicerostand-up gig was the hottest ticket in town. Shakespeare readily slippedone-liners into his comedies, while medieval jesters used pithy quips to amusethe royal court, well aware that if the joke backfired and somehow offended themonarch, their next audience might be with the executioner.

"Dying on stage" carried a more sinister meaning forcomedians in those days. It's not hard to see why one-liners remain in voguewith today's comedians. They are easy to remember, quick to deliver and if onegag dies on its feet, the next is waiting in the wings, hopefully to a betterreception.

Here is a compilation of the best one-liners around - a headymix of old and new favourites, Dad jokes, thoughtful musings, corny puns andwitty observations, covering a vast range of topics from Families to Fish,Money to Music, Relationships to Religion and Technology to Travel. They can beused to brighten up business conferences where the delegates are as tired asthe sandwiches; dinner parties where the conversation is threatening to slideinto a discussion about spreadsheets; seemingly interminable Zoom calls; and,of course, speeches at weddings that are so emotional that even the cake is intiers.