The Best Ever Book of Umpire Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

If you’ve ever heard a Jewish, Italian, Libyan, Catholic, Irish, Mexican, Polish, Belgian, Norwegian, or an Essex Girl, Newfie, Mother-in-Law, or joke aimed at a minority, this book of Umpire jokes is for you. In this not-so-original book, The Best Ever Book of Umpire Jokes; Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who, Mark Young takes a whole lot of tired, worn out jokes and makes them funny again. The Best Ever Book of Umpire Jokes is so unoriginal; it’s original. And, if you don’t burst out laughing from at least one Umpire joke in this book, there’s something wrong with you. This book has so many Umpire jokes; you won’t know where to start. For example: Why do Umpires wear slip-on shoes? You need an IQ of at least 4 to tie a shoelace. *** An evil genie captured an Umpire and her two friends and banished them to the desert for a week. The genie allowed each person to bring one thing. The first friend brought a canteen so he wouldn’t die of thirst. The second friend brought an umbrella to keep the sun off. The Umpire brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! *** Did you hear about the Umpire who wore two jackets when she painted the house? The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.” *** Why do Umpires laugh three times when they hear a joke? Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.