The Goomba's Book of Love

Move over, Miss Lonelyhearts . . . Steven R. Schirripa, author of the runaway bestseller A Goomba’s Guide to Life, is back with more life lessons from the neighborhood, and this time the subject is love.

Now, your average goomba may be better known for his penchant for gold chains and macaroni, but Steve Schirripa knows there is one driving force in a goomba’s life and that’s love—love for his mother and her Sunday sauce, his wife and kids, his friends, his goomar on the side, even for his car (and he better not catch you eating in it, if you know what’s good for you). In other words, the goomba is full of love, capice?

Recalling stories of his own colorful journey from the streets of Bensonhurst to the bright lights of Las Vegas and stardom as Bobby “Bacala” Baccilieri in HBO’s hit series The Sopranos, Schirripa observes the finer points of amore in all its forms. Take, for instance, the boundaries of brotherly love: It’s okay, he explains, to go to a Mets game with your buddy but definitely not to a yoga class. Then there’s the tough love of la famiglia. Every goomba is a family man, after all. So you want him to tell the truth? Ask him to swear on the heads of his children. Steve also waxes poetic about romantic love, complete with goomba dating tips (“Do steal a kiss; don’t steal her purse”), what to look for in a real goomba broad (“Her? She’d go to the chair for me”), and a list of tender goomba movies (The Way We Was).

Alternately touching, telling, and laugh-out-loud funny, The Goomba’s Book of Love proves that no one loves as fiercely (or as frequently) as a goomba.