Three out of four wives: Widowhood in America

The day a woman marries, she becomes not only a wife but a probably widow. Eleven million women in this country are widows, one million more will be in the next ten years. And according to the authors of THREE OUT OF FOUR WIVES, the ancient Hindu custom of suttee, burning the widow on her dead husband's pyre, was humane when compared to the American custom of burying the widow alive - up to her neck in guilt and debt, bereft of prestige, status, and rights. THREE OUT OF FOUR WIVES is an angry exposé- the result of hundreds of interviews and extensive research into the plight of the American widow. Her problems are widespread, financial insecurity and a lack of marketable skills, uncertainty about the future, a need for sexual release, and loneliness. These problems are aggravated by insufficient Social Security benefits, clause-filled pension plans that cheat the widow out of her legitimate rights, a society geared to couples in which she is odd-woman-out, a sexual morality that allows for the gay divorcee but censures the merry widow, and an ignore-her-and-maybe-she'll-go-away attitude seemingly held by many women's rights groups. And millions of women suffer these indignities silently because displays of emotion are socially unacceptable. There are certain things that every woman should know and do to help her make the transition from being half of a marriage to becoming a whole woman. Authors Alfred Allan Lewis and Barrie Berns offer more than sympathy to the American widow. They offer valuable information about the realities and possibilities of life along - building a new image, breaking away from assigned patterns of widowhood, growing away from old friends, recognizing the different stages of widowhood, getting it all out - expressing grief, surviving the financial crunch, coping with single sexuality, dealing realistically with memories of marriage, making it in the working world, and developing new, lasting relationships - when the time is right.